The hardest day...

Well today was the hardest day I have had in along time... My Good friend Lazara Alvarez Who passed on Thursday was buried today. I would say it hit me around some time after I left the viewing last night when we all, friends and family attended the viewing... My heart goes out to her mother who I know had such a good connection and relationship with her and all of her siblings... Its still unclear what happened that day to her that caused her to pass on and I wish she could of been saved some how but we all have our time. I've cried today the most because I really relies that I will never get to hear her voice or see her face or even have her sister tell me about something funny she did that we dumb of her. Every one that knew her always will remember the one unique smile she had. She was such a free spirited person and always had her own mind and opinion about everything. I know she would be mad at me for getting sad that she is gone, and she always wanted everyone to be happy. Its not easy putting up a front and trying not to show that you hurt inside because your sad about there death. She always told me she never wanted to make anyone sad, pissed off she didn't care but she would never want to make anyone sad... I just hope I can help out her sister and her mom in this hard time... Its better to remember the good times and funny times you had with them rather to think that they are gone... She always was smiling and I knew what stupid things to say to make her smile even more, that's the one impression she will always be remeberd by me...

alex


Poem for lala:

I did my best to not cry
and I kept my head up high...
I tried to keep your sister happy
by having her make fun of me...
I cheered the gang up as best as I could
by telling them how we used to hang in my hood...
I miss you dearly with all my heart
why did you have to depart...
I wish you could of stayed longer
like forever or at least until older...
I will always remember your smile
even when you were pissed at me for a wile...
I wish we could of had one more adventure
At the gothic club or some crazy adventures
I will always remember your advice
To think about things I say to girls twice
Always to be nice and sweet to them
even if they kick my butt or shin
I hope you will help me out
and be an angle, my little look out..