I Can't think, I don't know what to think

Its not easy to know that something is real until you see it in person... When you have some one pass away you just don't conceive its true until you see the family members or actually have a funeral. Maybe that's why we do this tragic gathering, it might also be for support for each other. I don't know what to think anymore about death, maybe its a cruel joke we play on our selfs... We fool each other into thinking we are gone and never will be anymore... Possibly its only this plane of reality we see the physical body go away but we continue to live on some were else... We all talk, think, speak, feel, breath, cry, smile, and do all kinds of physical things until our day of death. Maybe the body is just a device we use to express our spirit until it expires. What is next, What comes after this deceive we use, Do we live on? Why are we so fragile that we can damage this device and then we cant use it, Why haven't we found a way for us to use it longer... Possibly protect it, or transfer into another device so we can keep going and never die... I guess I am just rambling, and also questioning my faith, to be honest, I don't know what to think... Maybe we are all just dreaming, when you die, your really just awakening from a long dream... Life as we all know it could be just a dream, or maybe death is a dream.... I hope to keep on dreaming for a long time if this is true. I sure don't want to awake early, I rather just sleep in... Today all day I just thought of how this is not supposed to happen to people that you know, people that you care about should always be by your side, not just in your heart, but always there...

Alex