AHH BRAIN HURTS....

Today i face yet agen another conflict. Would i rather keep friendship or would i just not be able to handle the fact that another man might just take her away. I dont know. I dont know what to do any more. My buddy Lu tells me to just get over it but its not as easy to do. Being me is not easy. First you have to deal with my shortness. Then if you can get over that the physical part is the worst. Being almost 20 and looking like im 12 really dousent help me meeting people. Plus now that i have met someone who you know you have fallen in love with them, just stops you from looking at another girl or even just thinking some sexual thought about someother chick. Its always been easy for me to be like "hells ya i would love to fu*k that chick" but i cant anymore. Its never been the same as from the day i met her. My life has dont a 180 on me and i want to go back but i cant. I dont know why. Its so frustrating to look at someone who you just want to grab kiss and make any dream they want real but you know you cant because they dont feel the same way for you because there currently confused and infatuated with somthing that just might not last from the point of view i have.