I love my honda... I love my, Sunshine time...

Ok i know i might get into a little bit of trouble because of this but screw it... I love my car, why, because its reliable and its fast and gives me a thrill only one other thing can but w/e its different... So today was a real good day, unexpected things happened today but i was super happy about it... So yea i got to see... Lets call her "sunshine"... So me and sunshine spent some time today, ok i admit it might not be something big to you all but for me its more than words can describe... I didn't think i was going to see sunshine today due to i was sick yesterday or to put it correctly Tue because i have some kind of throat infection or something like that... So i was told i had to stay home and rest so it gets better real fast and it goes away... Fine no problem, well for me it is... i don't know why but when i see sunshine she just makes my day, and when i spend time with sunshine i feel like i could fly, and just do about anything... i am super happy if you can't tell by now... So after i had my time with sunshine today and got some love i guess you can say... HEY, I told you keep that mind out of the gutter!! Jackasses! Its nothing like that... But i did get loving after all, i got to hang out with Anna... So me and Anna wanted to go to walmart with Luis and Jessica and pinky... So we all drove to walmart and later on drove to playthings to say hi to my friends and some cool people i know there and then after we chilled at 7-11 for a while... Then after all that i was kinda tired and was driving down 8th and i was planning on taking Anna home.. Well when i look over to the other side of the road i see... Street Racers... Wow i was like in aww looking at all the Honda's and Srt4 and Silvia's and yea i could just keep going on and on about all the sexy car's... Well after i thought about it, more like 1.3 sec.. i yanked on the E-brake slowed down and turned around to join them... Now i was getting back to my roots as a street racer... I didn't want to park in a parking lot i know cop's might rade and ticket you for w/e... So i cased the joint out first, aka drive up and down 8th for a bit to see if i see cops or DT's or w/e and then i know its safe to go to the hangout... So yea as i always know the cop's did a rade and wow everyone bounced out of that joint like a bat out of hell... So i was like yea, going to another hang out.. so i will follow them and see were they meet and maybe talk to a few of them and see whats up... So yea i got the old Street Racer back in my blood flowing.. I didn't race because i had Anna in the car with me and i never put my passenger in any danger ever... So i just chilled and talked car stuff and yea kinda re-live the old day's... Wow, 2 rushes in one day, oh and i feel way better than i did yesterday... now i just cant sleep because of... yea a lot of factors but w/e... I know I'm not going to radio lollipop today and i got nothing to do so w/e I'm ganna see what this day gives me... Maybe nothing or who knows... im going to play some wii maybe to calm down or put me to sleep with some transformer's movie or something... WOOT good day.!!

LILMAN X

A Taste of.. and more?

Have you ever given any thought to if you could have a taste of something, you wanted soo bad that you would give anything in the world for? What would you do once you had a taste of this something? Would you be happy? Would you want more? Would you quiver and be shocked? I Had a similar situation happen to me... Lets say for example.. i wanted an item, or thing.. So once i got this thing i wanted another one, and one more and one more... Is this bad? Addictive? Or is it something i would like to keep getting? All depends on the kind of person you are, see with me its like i could have some, but i can wait for some more, but it will drive you crazy before you get anymore, and that is if there is any more left or will be more later on... You all must be like wtf is he talking about.. Well some of you know but the rest must be loopy.. or thinking other things, get your damm head out of the gutter, jack asses! Well all i have to say is, first i am super happy at the time.. i don't mind where i am at and i don't mind how things are going.. this is only a reference for my self and one other... I hope hearts can open up and i can further go on... i want it to so bad so i just can be happy and feel safe i guess... complicated as hell the situation i am in but so is life... you know you like someone when you start to miss them out of the blue and you think about them time to time... Love takes time and is something that has to be grown such as a seed that grows into a plant into a flower some day... i think a lot but i also don't write down or say a lot of things that go on in my mind, maybe because of my fear or i just rather keep it to my self... i am not sure of that but what i am sure of, one day i will be happy... at least i hope i will be... maybe i can share it with some one at that point... i know people say i look a lot for what i want but i say it finds me when i don't look and i sure can say i have... randomly i found something for a reason i do not know why, i have had a taste of something and i want more... only time will tell what will happen, but for now i am happy..

LILMAN X

OMG my head is going to explode... she spins me round...

Well its been forever since i have written and alot of stuff has happend... where in the hell do i start... well i will start by i have been out of the hospital and i am doing awsome... i have had a good winter i guess you can put it... started by hanging out with one of my homies that i havent seen in the logest time... D-man, he is doing real good in hawaii in the navy as a medic and helping people and stuff... it was awsome seeing him because its been forever since i have hanged with him because of him going off to war and then comming back to the real world i guess you could say... he was here in the summer and i didnt get a chance to hang with him due to the fact i was in the hospital and lost in space i guess you could say... well last time i wrote it was a complicated time in my life and right now i guess you could say things are simple and good but also complicated at the same time... lets put it like this... i like someone, i am about 95% this person feels the same way for me also but is afraid to do anything about her feelings and emotions are confusing both of us at the same time... I feel like i am spinning all the time because all i just want to do is feel secure that she likes me and its just going to be chill i guess you could say and we can trust each other and just care about each other and not worrie about the rest of the retarded world... my problem as most of you know i have issues with security and knowing where i stand and i hate the fact i am never sure about my situations... I just want to tell her that i feel soo much for her, in ways i cant express my self with her and also in things i want to do with her... for the dirty minds that read this get your mind out of the gutter, assholes... i just want to basically spend time and hold each other... cuddling or just being in the same room with her is the best thing i can experience... I just would like to hold her in my arms and also tell her what i think about her... I don't give a crap who knows or what they think... i say screw the world and what i think is what goes... so here goes my thoghts... I think she is amazing, first off, i have never met some one so dedicated to her studies, second (most of the time people are all about the books and screw the rest of things in life) she is also athletic and thinks health wise about alot of stuff... I actually need some one in my life right now to show me how to do things right and how i should also take care of myself, more like set an example that i can follow but also push me tooo... third she is also beautiful; something about her that i just amazes me and i find something diffrent every time i see her... no matter what she wears or what she is doing i always think its new and exciting... i dont know if its because i just met her or i haven't know her for a long time but i like this idea of something new every time i hang out with her... fourth her attitude towards life is different from most people that i have met, her outlook is similar if not the same as mines is... now i am older than her and she is younger than me but extremly mature about it and thats what is shocking and puts me into a gasp when i think about it... the chemistry between us is something that i truly can feel and also i am afraid of... the connection is super strong and intense but at the same time is relaxed... she is way diffrent from i guess the typical girl i like and also her response to me is different from what i am used to but all this "NEW" stuff is getting me all dizzy and drives me crazy at the same time... i am enjoying it and also i fear if any of this is for real? i mean some times i swear its like a dream and it cant be true, or maybe its some cruel trick i am being picked out of a crowd and tricked on... im not sure how it is going to go from here but here is what i think... first i would hope the following is going to happen... we are further going to continue what we discussed and just let it be and go with the flow... i hope to be happy with her because my demands are few and im sure her's are too... i am also pleasing in any way i can be, i know school is a big issue with her and i will keep my distance because i dont want to get in her way... I think i am getting into this maybe a little fast and i might need to slow down, i hope if i am she can tell me "hey slow down" and i will... i do things sometimes a little too crazy and i know my speed might be too fast and jumping into things to fast but its just me... when i feel a connection for some one i just get into it, i think from my point of view im at the point of no return where for example i can simply forget about her and my feelings for her but i can't... like i said before im in too deep and to the point of no return... i know its kind of crazy but thats just the way my mind works.. cant help it sorry... Well if i get hurt, i rather it be me than her ever getting hurt because that would be the last thing i would ever want to do to her... i would never hurt her, i cant, i dont know how to hurt anyone actually... sometimes i wish i could be an asshole because assholes get all the good girls and nice guys finish last... i think i always finish last because i am a nice guy but from what my friends tell me i dont finish last... w/e i disagree but who knows... maybe this is my chance of finding a nice girl and a true fairy tale will come true... i just wish some how she could stop being so confused about the situation and just trust me... i know its hard and she is scared to get screwd over but you learn nothing in life with out taking a risk... Anything in life is a risk the way i see it... you go to work, you take a risk to get fired, you go to school, you take a risk of learning something that might not be such a hot career in the future, you take a drive to a friends house... Simple right? well you might get in a acident getting there... everything in life is a risk... You take a risk to learn something from it or to experience something new... I say face life, take a risk and enjoy the good and look past the bad... Well its super late and i have to correct this long blogg as much as i can so good night...

LILMAN X