Should i be like Eminem? I just don't give a F

Well right now its officially June... But i woke up nice an early on the last day of May at 5ish... i told people i woke up at 8 or 9 so they won't think I'm nuts getting up at 5 A.M. on a sat morning but i did... I had a good long time to think about stuff before i had to go back to my room and close the door so my dad would think i was still asleep and he would not bug me... I got up and had a seat out side on my porch and looked East and watched the sun rise in the distance... I like sun rise's Btw because it lets me think... Think of new idea's, new goles in my life... New things to come... A sunrise is like a brand new beginning... So i gave a real long good thought... Should i be like Eminem... Yea you are reading this right... Slim shady, Eminem, Marshal Mathers, W/e the fuck you wanna call him... Why him... Well because he dose not give a flying fuck about no one or anything... See this comes from thinking a lot... Why is my life so much in a shit hole right now? Why has all that was so perfect and getting on track gone all to hell? Why did (Some one who's name i will Leave Out but i should say) drop off the face of the earth like they died or didn't exist or was a figment of my imagination? Why the fuck can't i ever move 3 steps forward and stay in that spot and not get Smacked, Kicked, Hit, Stupid Slapped, Abused or W/e the fuck back to only one step ahead? Well that's only because, I Give A Fuck... But guess what... I was thinking i should not... I should not give a Fuck about anyone or anything... Be cold as ice or perma-frost... Be heart-less like love-less... Any of the above... People have always been able to walk all over me... Take advantage of my kindness... Take me for a fucking fool... Use me for what i can give... Trick me into thinking things... Make me think "oh they are here for me, so i should be there for them too"... Well fuck you! I Am so sick of being a fool... I am fucking sick and fucking tired of bullshit non-sence people who dont give 3 flying fuck-son-of-a-bitch-cunt-licking-asshole-dick-liking-twat-of-a-dirty-slut-monkey-shit-bitches-ho's... That is what i think... You know what... I need a real good reason to change my fucking mind at this point to not freeze my heart and don't give a fuck like eminem and go back to actually giving a flying fuck about anyone... If being a asshole is the only fucking way i can get ahead and stay in that spot then i got to do, what i got to do... Fuck the rest... I am sick of the push around.... I am sick of feeling like shit and taking it personal, i am sick of making my self feel bad and wasting my brain power thinking over shit when Alzheimer's is going to eat my brain anyways.. i should use my pleasures of my brain for something else than my worries and stupid thoughts about fuck-son-of-a-bitch-cunt-licking-asshole-dick-liking-twat-of-a-dirty-slut-monkey-shit-bitches-ho's.... Give me a reason not to change a remain how i am.. if not... i am giving this 110% thought and i just might change forever and no return back!!!

LILMAN X