The crazy life i live... i do but i don't want it....

Well since about last Wednesday shit has been crazy.... good and bad too, the only way to describe it is that it’s been nuts... between work and school and going out to party and trying to have a life is not easy... Wednesday was awesome because Kevin told me about a club called the morgue... no its not were dead people go, but gothic people and rocker people and also all kind of people from all walks of life ... except ghetto peeps... no thugs or wannabes allowed... but it was awesome... I met a girl named Heather there... kind of sexy girl... something about her I don't know what it was but it was like a turn on... could of been the entire gothic look and stuff about her... I def must go again... I loved the music... it was like kind of a euro trance mixed with hard rock mix... The best part was when I was telling heather about my days as a raver and she pulled out 2 LED lights and I was like in love... I was so happy so I went out on the floor and started to rave like I used to back in the old days... I was so tripping out and having a blast it was awesome... after that basically the week was calm until Sunday night.... Sunday night was really crazy because I was supposed to go out with genine to like a club but what ended up happening is that I was hanging out with jj, j, Julian, russle and the rest of the crew... well what happened was that around 9:30 or 10 I got a call from Ximena that Caro was having complications with the pregnancy and it was at Jackson hospital... So I took jj and julian with me to Jackson and we ended up getting pulled over by some asshole cop that thought I jacked my own car and told us to put our hands up, what bullshit that was... I mean they told us to put our hands up and turn the car off and get out of the car all because they thought my car was stolen... stupid asshole cops... Yesterday we were taking some people home again in the northwest area... well since j is always driving joy's car and she knows about it this time the cops saw us dropping off some people at there complex and stopped us... after they stopped us they almost arrested j because his license was suspended and they asked me to drive the car home... imagine me I look like I’m a kid to drive the car home, well it wasn’t bad but I couldn’t see well so it was hard driving the civic all the way in the northwest to southwest it was a crazy drive but it was awesome because the civic had like hand controls sort of like trip tonic stuff… so yeah I took it all the way to my house and then j drove it home I guess… well that was about it …. My situation with the ladies well shit what I can say… SHIT… nothing… no girl wants me and time hates me… I have not time to go any ware or do anything anymore and the girls my friends hang around with all jail bait (underage) so yeah I’m screwed… girl 1, 2, 3, 4 well I haven’t been able to do shit about it because I have no time to do anything or spend time with them to at least show them something about me or get to know them better… life is so hard and I wish it was easier…. All I just want is a girl, be able to relax and be normal… no hectic life of rushing here and making time to relax or enjoy myself and fit everyone into my schedule... everyone seems to have time but me… I’m always trying to squeeze my life other peoples life sleep and school all in to a 16 hr day and get like 4-5 hrs of sleep and do it all over again… crazy shit but w/e that’s my life and I guess something must change or I’m going to burn out before I get what I want…..

The madness just don't stop... shits just crazy and i don't wanna deal with it...

What a week so far and its only monday... Since Wenday of last week shit has just been crazy... everything is just like going out of hand... w/e its late and i will write about it 2marrow morning... lets just say shit can't get any crazyer....

LILMAN X

Well what a weekend it was, good... i mean all i did was sorta party and hang and chill and relax.... carolina's baby shower was this weekend and i got her some awsome carrieing thing there for the baby since i know her and she is always on the go... so besides that i was doing the usal, fat tuesday's with dio and peeps... which is getting kinda old, but im sure its not the last time that we will be going there.... Girls are starting to get to me... deeeply... i don't get them.... some of them play mind games and some are straght out with you about what they want... it seems like the only ones i want are the ones playing mind games or maybe im just bad at transalting what they want to say from there own lingo called FEM.... I thought my friends have showed me the Female lingo but i guess i failed that class... maybe i need to have my gay bestfriend next to me at all times so he can tell me what they are truely saying...lol... Well basicly whats wrong with me is i like a couple of girls... problem is i need to figure out who is right and wrong for me...lets give them names.. Girl 1, Girl 2, and Girl 3. two of the girls i dont know that well as much as i would like to get to know them and Girl 3 i don't know if she even likes me or has an interest in her... I know Girl 1 and Girl 3 longer than Girl 2, but the problem is i really like Girl 3 because i have known her longer and i also know the do's and don'ts which is important... Girl 2 i see almost every other day but i really don't know much about her and i would like to get to know her at least somewhat... Girl 1 i dont see much of or at all but i will soon and Girl 3 i also dont see much but thats because i have to drive kinda far to hang out with but soon she will also be neair me too so... what a delema.... I have no clue what to do but w/e i guess i will just go with what ever happends first...

LILMAN X