Out of touch, but not out of contact

Well so this weekend was rather blah... I didn't go to the beach, I just stayed home and the only time that I was out was about 30 mins ago that I went to go see X-men 3... Movie was good and I think another one will be coming if they chose.... Besides that most of the long weekend was spent in bed watching T.V. because since about WED I got some horrible cold plague.... So w/e because of that my weekend was shot and I didn't do jack but stay home... I wanted to go out and see the crazy Miami life but w/e another year gone, maybe next year.... I seemed to have so much time this weekend that I have filled my mind up with problems and questions and issues... I hate it when a mind like mines is at rest.... I always seem to find something wrong or something a bother with me.... Well I shall just deal with it as I always do and just work the problem out and then later maybe write about it.... Well I do have class in the morning and I should get some sleep so...

LILMAN X

Quick Blogg long day need sleep...

Well.. Yeah its been a long day.. All I need to say is: People are stupid, but if they would be some what smart we would never have any problems there for "Without Chaos order and nothing can exist"... Also my last word of advice is... "There's an evolutionary imperative why we give a crap about our family and friends. And there's an evolutionary imperative why we don't give a crap about anybody else. If we loved all people indiscriminately, we couldn't function." Long day... Going to bed...

LILMAN X

Its Only Tuesday And IM Tired Of This Week...

Well so I made it to Jackson, after getting up at 5 am and looking outside it was raining so much that I was like screw it I will wait it out... Then around 6 I finally left the house and got stuck in this stupid traffic on the 826... I mean it was bumper to bumper parking lot style... So w/e that was for ever until after the air port... Then it was smooth sailing until I got to the actual test done... Oh yeah I almost forgot about the stupid toll lady, when I was paying the 1.50 toll she was asking me how old I was and what was I doing driving and on and on, I was like look I am old just let me go, I am in a hurry... W/e... So then I valet my car and went first to do the Echo cardiogram, well I get there and the stupid girl tells me that IM too early because they don't open until 8:30... So I told her look Lourdes sent me for this time so w/e they found the papers and saw I was a special case so w/e they did that then I rushed over to the ultra-sound to get the other test done... The problem one was at 8 and the ultra-sound was at 8:30.. Now we all know its impossible to just go, get something done and go do another one... No there's always some complication or some stupid jack ass being lazy so it takes a wile.. So w/e I finished at 9:30 almost 10.. Then I ran over to ultra-sound and remembered the senile old woman took my ultra-sound paper to call them to let them know I was going to be late... Well I ran over to Echo grabbed the paper from her then ran over to ultra-sound and gave the paper in... At least that department was fast and in order... Not like the disorder echo was in... So w/e I got home at 11 and rushed over to class and told my teacher what was going on and how all this week its been Jackson-athon... So tomorrow I have clinic to see the doctor, tizakis, then Thursday IM not sure yet I shall have something to do, because they like to slowly screw with my head... Then Friday is the Stupid CT scan... So w/e between Jackson and the new school term starting in the same week IM going to loose it or just party my head off when IM in the calm.... Its only Tuesday, well actually Wednesday now and IM tired of this week already... Going to bed..

LILMAN X

Quickness Post, Jackson Adventure to be

Well tomorrow should be something, I have to go to Jackson hospital so I can do 2 test for the liver transplant people... Good greef what I do for them... I have to get up like at 5 am or something so I don't catch traffic and I can make it there on time and catch good parking... So w/e I was also told that one test is at 7:30 and the other is at 8 ... So how the fuck am I supposed to do that... I mean common one takes time and then run across to the other... Oh good greef... w/e I will write how it goes, also I have to let my teacher know so I haven't a clue what IM going to do about that... w/e time for sleep because I have to get up before the sun comes up... >_<

LILMAN X

Pop It Into First Then neural, Just Let It Ride

Lets update a little first off because last time I wrote I was a little, Crazy I guess you could say... I had a lot on my mind and a lot of things going on so yeah... So on Friday I didn't do much just visit a friend in the hospital and then I came home and had a lot of shit on my mind from this past week because its been one thing after another and bla bla bla... So what do I do when I have a lot of shit on my mind... Work on my car... So I took my dash apart because the lights in the gauges were all burnt out and dim and it needed to be cleaned... So that's what I did... It took me like 6 hrs or more to do it, lets just say by midnight was when I was done and test driving it to make sure it worked good... So yeah now its all awesome and it works perfectly... Basically the car is way better the when I got it, odd because cars should get worse as time goes by but not mines it keeps on improving because I work on it soo damm much... So next subject is, I am just going to go with the flow from now on, I don't care anymore about stupid shit about what I should do and worry about other people and try to help them and stress about all kinds of things... Screw that IM not going to make a mess of myself for something that is hopeless so IM just going to offer and if not, oh well... I will just sit back and let it ride... No need for that any more, if you see me write something like that tell me, hey just let it ride... So I am going to sleep and jam to my IPOD...

LILMAN X

Rambling

Restless mind I have going for me at the moment... I have so many things I think every day but sometime I don't feel like getting to them... I like to think I am in control of my life when it comes to a few things. Things like people I know that they are in a situation and I would like to help but I just know I can only go so far. Whatever I just don't get it some times, why some one would liked to be helped but they don't want to be... Thoughts just going in my mind at the moment I don't even know what to do... Sometimes I feel like I want to forget about everyone and just sit back by myself and pretend I am on a island called "solitude-dissipate-emancipate" or it could also be called "limbo" or best known as "Hades"... No matter what place I go to its always something... I never seem to find fraternization "Peace"... w/e I just have so much shit on my mind I think IM going to call it a night and sleep it off... What ever I don't sleep it off I will write I guess...

LILMAN X

Brain Dead X_X

Well it official... I feel 100% brain dead... I cant think right, my eyes are blood shot and IM super tired but I cant sleep... WTF is wrong with me... I have so much shit on my mind I cant even sleep... It just keeps circling in my mind and I cant seem to go to sleep... My only solution is to work my self to sleep by going out and getting tired to the point I cant do anything but sleep... Nights that I don't do anything, Ex tonight, I just cant sleep... IM going to have to watch some boreing thing or the BBC or something so I can sleep... GERRR... Blast this stupid insomnia... Dammit, IM going to force my self to sleep, put on some PBS or something...

LILMAN X x_x

Sit My Self Back To Think... Brain Always Working, Damm My I.Q.

Well today was a rather slow and boring day... I didn't go out, I didn't go to lollipop, I didn't do shit, but sit and think, rest and recover... Since most people that have a high I.Q. cant sit still and just relax and turn off the mind, I had to sit home all day with nothing but the computer and TV to keep me occupied... So in other words, I thought a lot about different things... Mostly one of them would be that subject I keep juggling in my head; girls... One of them has me thinking of her often, I've known her for a long time and I've always liked her... One thing I cant get out of my mind at this moment is that she is currently single and well I would make a move but she is not in the best position now to date I guess I should say... I am helping her in her situation but I don't know what the out come will be... Some times I think I should just forget about it and totally forget this crazy idea of me liking her but I've tried and its always been floating around in my head... I don't know what to do anymore about it, every time I get the bird brain idea of doing something like this I always get screwed but rarely it works... I don't know why I try but who knows... Maybe I should try this time and see what happends... Hell I don't even know how she feels for me, as if I was sure of it anyways... My one weakness is I could never tell how they feel, ever... Its like some unknown science I haven't learned or some unsolved mystery... Well I guess my plan of action would be: Support her for now in the situation she is in... Step two: Slowly or quickly ( I need to figure out which) Invite her out or go over to her house or w/e( Spend time) Step Three: Make the move... I guess that would be a good plan of action... Not sure, Blast this mind of mines... Why must it always be busy thinking of possiblilitys and outcomes... I wish some times I could just go with the flow and not think about it 3-billion times... Other wise I feel much better and I am going out tomorrow...

LILMAN X

A Limp Like House, Ouch !

What a day... Good greef I am in pain... My back hurts like hell and I cant even walk right... I feel like an episode of House... That show were the smart ass doctor that has a cane walks around with a limp... Yeah that's right IM walking around with a cane on my right hand because I cannot for the life of me put any pressure on my right foot because the pain is unbearable... It hurts soo much... I think its because were the bone-marrow was done it has something to do with my leg putting pressure on my pelvic bone or some shit like that... I think IM going to take a vicodin and go to bed or some shit I cant stand it... I am going to cancel on every one tomorrow because I just cant do shit with this pain in my back... Dammit and I wanted to go out and do stuff... Well I might wake up better who knows... Just call me Dr. House M.D.

Lilman X

News To The Public Jabroni's

Well today was good, I went to class and had my usual day at school... Tomorrow will be a different day, not the most pleasant day for me I must say, but its something I must do... Ok a little back ground history... First is first, most of you know that I go to the hospital a lot and its normal for me to be there and bla bla bla... Well tomorrow I must do a Bone marrow biopsy so that I may keep on with the study that I am in, all this is so I can continue to get a medication Called GCSF (BTW its not cheap) for free... Its not a bad deal, they take a little bit of bone marrow and I get this medication that cost the equal to buying a new Benz every 2 months for free... I think its fair... Now I guarantee that IM going to be one big un-happy bitch... I will be in pain for a few and pissed off but hey, that's nothing vicoden or something stronger cant fix :) So w/e I will be miserable for a few hrs until the next day... I will let you know how it goes...

LILMAN X

Blah... Another day

Well Today was rather nothing-less... I didn't do a damm thing all day long because I was not energized... I felt tired and last night my joints were all hurting I don't know why but w/e I took advil and crashed until about 11 this morning... Then I just layed in bed all day... Mostly relaxing and watching T.V... tomorrow I have school and the next day doc's Appt... Back to the grind... Well IM going to go take a shower and go to bed...

LILMAN X


Oh no, I see
A spider-web is tangled up with me
And I lost my head
And thought of all the stupid things I've said

Oh no, what's this?
A spider-web and I'm caught in the middle
So I turn to run
And thought of all the stupid things I've done

And oh, I never meant to cause you trouble
Oh, I never meant to do you wrong
And oh, well if I ever caused you trouble
Oh, no I never meant to do you harm

Oh no, I see
The spider-web and it's me in the middle
So I twist and turn
But here am I in my little bubble

Singing oh,
I never meant to cause you trouble
And oh, I never meant to do you wrong
Oh, well if I ever caused you trouble
Oh, no I never meant to do you harm

They spun a web for me
They spun a web for me
They spun a web for me