Retarded Teachers of this world, or should I say Die!

Well I had the class which I hate, Basic Math (crap class). This teacher is the most retarded person that I have had in a class room.... When I say retarded I mean stupid, ignorant or w/e the point of this is She just cant teach... We did first grade fractions all day long for 4 hrs... Oh My God my I.Q. dropped from a 190 to like 10... It was Horrible, the worst part was I was doing all the right steps like simplifying them but nooo... She marked them all wrong because we were not doing that step yet.... I was like in shock... So I pretended and turned off my brain and acted stupid to please this dim-wetted fool of a teacher... Please if you choose to be a teacher and your this stupid... Don't, do your self a favor and get in a bath-tub and turn on a toaster and let it drop... It will be quick and painless and you wont be a burden to your students.... Besides that I went to the doctor earlier today and he was like "well so your ear is really bad and your probably in pain right?" I was like yeah, tell me something I don't know... So he sends me some antibiotic that should work because its strong as hell.... If that not going to kill it I don't know what will.... Well tomorrow is Ethics... I love that class by the way! IM going to take some advil and hit the bed...


LILMAN X

The Real Folk Blues Part 1 and some...

Well its been a hell of a long time since I wrote... Mostly because when I post I seem to get some negative reply or recoil from my thoughts but hey w/e you don't like what your reading then stop reading it and go to www.red.com and just look at it for 30mins... IM still not over this stupid cold or creepy flu or w/e the hell it is.. I cant figure it out... I have been sick since I don't know when I can last remember and its gone away and came back and then gone away and now its back with a vengeance... Blasted thing wont go away... I keep taking antibiotic and its fine but as soon as I stop the blasted thing comes back... WTF I don't get it... W/e IM going to the doctor tomorrow, My new doctor... He is super cool, I am going to miss my old doctor that was awesome and has known me basically since I was born... Yeah its a funny story, he did his residentcy with me at M.C.H. Then when he was done he opened up a privet practice and guess who was his first Patient... So yeah, we both have learned a lot over the years together and stuff but now I guess its time for a new Doctor and new hospital... As the beatles once wrote: To every thing, Turn Turn... But I approve of him. Earlier I was feeling real shitty before I took some advil and I called his office and the office girl told me to go over that second... I was in shock, usually adult doctors are assholes about seeing some one that same moment or even day... I had to tell her no, that if could go the next day, and she told me sure that at 1:45... So I was like cool... So yeah so far so good with this guy... I recommend him... If you know how judgmental I am about doctors you'll be shocked to know I approve of him... Now change of subject... New subject: social life, girls, My-self interests and adventures... First thing: Adventures, haven't had any real good ones... The most recent one was going to the beach and that was it basically... Social life: Its good, could be better but hell the people involved in it help some times but I might need a change or readjustment... My self interests: well not too many I can talk about or at least say here because I will open up Pandora's box and all hell will brake loose, but I have about 4 or 5 things I want to do... A simple one I can write about would be my car that is going to be kicking some ass when I get it the way I want it to look... Girls: wow, another Pandora's box... Damm I just have to get away from that subject... Quickly I have my idea's and thoughts about a few of them, now don't get mad folks because I spoke and told you a few, remember I am single and I have options... That is not saying I am paying attention to just one always but I attempt to spread myself evenly I guess you could put it... I might be interested in one more than the other or maybe not... Ahhh you'll never know because only I can know my thoughts... I at least try to make some sense in my mind of the chaos girls, Say, think, and do... Hey IM not perfect and I will never figure it out but I am not perfect you know... Now as a good student that I am.. IM going to sleep because I have school in the morning and IM not feeling too hot right now, or should I say I do feel hot... LOL anyways Night...

LILMAN X

Sick but still improvement and nothing to tell

Well IM still sick with this stupid creepy cold but w/e... I am improving slowly but I am much better thanks to the antibiotics the doctor gave me... Basically since Tuesday I haven't left my house to do anything or go anyway... All I have been doing is just in bed trying to feel better and getting better slowly wile I watch TV all day and try not to let the damm Cold Med's make me too loopy... Oh yeah, I am really pissed off... Its been about 4 to 5 days since a Cretan girl has called me, and she knows who she is... And not even a hello or how are you or w/e... Well I am not going to call her, because the least she could of done is call me even after Valentines day and check up on me and see how I am doing... I am 100% sure she knows I was sick and I had this creepy cold... If she cannot even bother to dial my digits to say hi or even check up on me then I wont lift a finger to call her back... I refuse to make any efforts if I don't see a slither of action to make an effort... W/e Fuck the bullshit, we are all adults and we have responsibilities and I think one of them would be at least to check up on friends or "so called" people we care for... Well IM going back to bed... I feel that cold med making me sleepy...

LILMAN X

Sick as a dog and crappy day blues...

Well today was a total pointless meaningless day of my life.... Not only I didn't do shit for Valentines day but I am also sick, I feel like crap because I got my mothers Cold/creepy bug... I really was hoping for a wonderful day that I would get to spend it with a certain some one but w/e... I called her only after I got some strength to get out of bed, but as usual she didn't pick up... IM sure she was pre-occupied... W/e at least a phone call would of made me feel better but like I was saying this day was pointless... Only one person and she knows who she is called me around 7 to wish me a happy valentines day... Thanks for calling me, you made my day... And yes SR71 rocks.. LOL... So yeah, I called my doctor today and told her that I really didn't want to bug her but I have a doctors appt in a week but that if she could do me this last favor and she under stood so she gave me something for this creepy cold... Wow I feel like shit, its not even funny... My head hurts, it feels as if its being compressed and pulled at the same time... My sinuses feel as they are full of crap, and my throat feels as if I can barely swallow... This suxs but w/e... So lets recap... I didn't get a phone call or even get to talk to the girl I like, The most unexpected person called me to wish me a happy valentines day and that made my day, I have a cold/infection/creeping crud... What a shitty day... Damm IM going to go to bed... Fuck this shitty day and all its crap...

LILMAN X

Valentines day, Blah, w/e just another day...

Well its that time of the year once more... Feb 14th and I hate it... This day always reminds me of a few things. First off IM single, I don't have a girl to call my own and it sucks... Second I met a real grate person about 4 years ago and she is still in my life and I am thankful for it... Third it sucks the big one when you love some one and you just cant have them because of that other person is not interested or they just don't know what they want in life so they are undecided... Some times this day I just wish I could sleep right into the next day as if I could just erase it from my calendar and forget it even exist... Hey I can't do that, I have to face realallity and face it until this day is over. Not all of my v-days have been bad, one year as I explained above I met a awesome person who I still talk to this day, funny part is we both grew apart for some time but we've grown together also.... I don't know how to explain it but w/e... This person is real special to me and I care a lot about them, IM not sure if they know but hey I do... I may not always show it all the time but I still care and wish they would just be happy and wonderful things would happen to them, They deserve it... Who knows what today is going to bring me... I Hope somthing good, if not, I am sure I will be writing about it... Well I have class in the morning and IM going to bed... I leave you with some lyrics for this "valentines day"

LILMAN X

Evanescence - My Immortal Lyrics

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating life
Now I'm bound by the life you've left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

No effort, no worries, no solution

Well its been a very interesting week so far, and I mean it all started on last Sunday I guess you could say... A friend who will remain nameless asked me to go over to that person's house and hang out for a wile and chill, Well all I had to say is I had a lot of fun and I was hoping of repeating that event at least twice during this past week... Well that didn't happen, actually I feel as I've been putting effort into something that has no solution or is not going in any specific direction. I feel as I am a lion in a pack and I have to fight my way or make a huge effort to get something to eat may it be small or big... I've honestly always hated competition, may it be a race, or something to do with who's better at something, or just minor stuff, I've always felt as I have to try and put twice the effort in it, just so I can win or at least come close to it... I think that's why I just observe and sit quiet and look at things until I have to put in my two cents.... A wise saying is if you put effort into something that is not in existence then you have no worries because its not real... You know I agree with that, maybe I will just give up in this stupid rat race or something because I feel as IM in last place and all the effort I put in is pointless.... This is true for almost every aspect of my life.... Who cares anyways, well I do but IM going to "try" to be hard about it and not show anything to anyone because that how it should be, hell I have no worries and if I do you shouldn't know about it unless you really know me, or read this blogg.... Still I have a lot of problems besides the stupid "rat race" of life to do... If a certain person shows effort then hey, no problem, but if not... W/e I will be ok... I don't get it at times but its just all fucked up in the end for me because I care, IM too nice, and I should be more of an asshole but w/e.... Fuck it im going to bed and wake up 2marrow, Clean my car, take care of some things and then who knows...

LILMAN X (NO HUGS, IM PISSED)

Pod people and Party Drunken monkey :P

Well yesterday was awesome, I finally got a chance to relax and party it up and chilled with dio... Wow its been for ever since me and him chilled and partied like that... Ahh the good old days, Fat-Tuesdays and girls and drinks... So basically I did nothing except messing with my IPOD until about 9pm yesterday when dio called me around 7 and was like yo wanna party like we used to? I was like hell yeah I've had a stressful week lets go and party... So we left the house around 8 and then we hit up fat-Tuesdays and the funny part was everyone still remembered me and was like you lilman where have you been we haven't seen you in for ever and bla bla bla... I think its either cool or extremely sad that they know you at a Cretan place, that just means your a regular or a bad-ass.. I don't know what I fall under so I will leave it at that... So I had a Budweiser select which I love because its zero carbs and zero sugars so its as close to my diet and way IM supposed to eat as I can get with out feeling guilty... Fat-Tuesdays was kind of dead truthfully because usually its packed or full but it was kind of empty and the eye candy was just not doing any justice so I also remembered it was Gaby's birthday outing that night at Soho lounge so I told dio look lets go to soho and party it up.. Usually soho is awesome and full but wow... That shit was soooo packed it was like a sardine can inside but w/e I didn't care, a bunch of eyecandy to pray on so it was all good... We were in every single room, hiphop room, the Poppy rocker room, the retro/80's room, and the brake-beats/trance room... It was awesome, I was mostly just chilling out because lately I have been feeling real tired and I should go to a doctor about it and check myself out, but I have been lazy because I have to find a new primary doctor because IM too old to see the one I've had all my life and also he cant go to Baptist hospital so I have to find some that can work with me at the place I go to the hospital... Personally I think its all a big bullshit plan by insurance company's but w/e fukem I will do it my way as much as I can... I had a few heineken at soho but that was about it, no numbers, no hitting on any girls, but next time watch out... LOL... Yeah right, I don't want trouble anymore than I have... Yeah that's right you girls only bring problems.. I figure the girl that finds me or we find eachother will give me no problems so w/e, I still have some time to wait it out... Well its a beginning of a new week, lets see if its going to be crazy or dull...

LILMAN X

Not going to take it anymore..

Ok so far I was having a good day, until 5 pm and 3 phone calls happened in a row. One was from my brother having problems with his computer and him bitching at me wile I am a nice asshole and calmly help him out to solve his stupid computer minor problem that he was flipping out. The second phone call was from a friend about some drama and b/s with her man, w/e I deal with it and that was that but still it takes a lot out of me to help some one emotionally calm down and help them out about something... I am fucking sorry for having a soul, I wish I didn't have one some times... The third phone call was from one of my friends and they know who they are, a real random call getting loud, or maybe that's they way they are, about the stupid bullshit blogg I wrote. Sorry you took it into offence. You have no right to get loud or aggravate me because I did not mention your name at any time. If I really wanted to insult some one I would say names and point fingers, I have no shame and I will personally tell you and admit if it was meant for you... To anyone who knows me personally or knows me I have a lot of stress in my life and I don't need people aggravating me any more than I have to... ( In a Sarcastic tone) if you girls and boys want to know something, I shit blood sometimes because I have Crohn's disease and hey, anyone know why I shit blood? Its because of ulcers in your intestine and stomach and hey its extremely painful... Thanks to many people including my parents, school, teachers, activity's I do and friends (at times that stress me out) I get stressed out because I care and actually give a fuck... Wow.. Hey here is an idea, how about some one switch with me and find out how stressful my life is and then on top of that add a lot of health problems and oh yeah on top of that try to be productive about the future ( school) and also have fun at the same time... Hey I do it, how I ask my self I don't know but I do know this IM not going to take anyone's bullshit any more... IM going to not stress about what people think of me and what they say or what happened to them... Its me myself and I... And if you don't like it... Blow me, fuck you and kiss my ass because I don't care! THIS IS FOR EVERY ONE WHOS INSULTED. If you are insulted by this, ask your self why first because you should not have any reason to be unless you think you are guilty of it... You can only point the finger at yourself...


LILMAN X
P.S. I am going to go out, have fun and no worries,
hopefully get drunk so I don't remember much of
anyone or anything

Always some bullshit... High School kid bullshit

Well yesterday my entire evening was ruined by one of my friends or actually several events that happened that I, because I have a good heart canceled my plans and went to the rescue... Some bullshit... I always end up on the damm loosing side because I always am the one to solve everyone's problem because in my opinion I am the only damm person on this earth who thinks and is very rational and think things out and solve problems. I rarely flip out, or act childish or even just give problems to anyone. I see it like this, talk things out and think about them because we are humans and not animals and we aren't wild running like wolves or we can be like the wild animals and act stupid and childish... I hate people that act childish and yesterday was a day for that bullshit childish drama because Cretan people IM not going to mention names cannot think and just burst the first instinctive emotions and do stupid childish mistakes that maybe a little 9nth grader makes because they don't know any better... My thoughts to them is grow up and act your fucking age... Other wise please disassociate your self with me because I am 23 mature and I am very calm and none childish person... Everyone has there moments to act childish but when you are in college and you have responsibilities and are over the age of 18 I think you should at least relies you are not a little kid and should just talk and use that thing that's inbetween your ears and inside your skull... Hey it might actually work if you used it and didn't use the primitive part of your mind... Another subject is a hypocrite, I hate people that do that and act in that way... It pisses me off the most when you say something and you do that thing that you say you wont or will do, why in the hell do you go back on your word... WTF I don't get that, if I say something I stick to it... Every single person that knows me and that has known me knows I hate people that are hypocrite. I cant stand them and I despise them with all my hate. I think you should have a punishment for people that are hypocrites. The one person who pissed me off the most yesterday ( not going to say a name ) but they know who they are, needs to first look at them selfish and see the flaws, if they don't see any please come and ask me, I have no shame and I will tell you, second if you do not straighten out your self off of this one chance I give you then I will no longer help you because I give once chance to come correct as a friend of mine used to say and that's it. After that one chance screw up once more and the privileges and other stuff will be cut off. Yesterday my plans were ruined and all for a stupid childish occurrence that could of been solved by simply breathing and saying ok lets talk this out like mature adults, not flipping out... I say act your age or don't hang with me because I try to make sure my group of friends are diverse and mature and IM very selective of who I introduce you to and if I conceder you my friend or not. People need to relies in life, your born, you go to school for 12 years then you maturely grow mentally and then hussle of life begins and its work hard, live life a little and have some fun but mostly its made up of responsibilities that increases day by day...

LILMAN X