Well its been a very interesting week so far, and I mean it all started on last Sunday I guess you could say... A friend who will remain nameless asked me to go over to that person's house and hang out for a wile and chill, Well all I had to say is I had a lot of fun and I was hoping of repeating that event at least twice during this past week... Well that didn't happen, actually I feel as I've been putting effort into something that has no solution or is not going in any specific direction. I feel as I am a lion in a pack and I have to fight my way or make a huge effort to get something to eat may it be small or big... I've honestly always hated competition, may it be a race, or something to do with who's better at something, or just minor stuff, I've always felt as I have to try and put twice the effort in it, just so I can win or at least come close to it... I think that's why I just observe and sit quiet and look at things until I have to put in my two cents.... A wise saying is if you put effort into something that is not in existence then you have no worries because its not real... You know I agree with that, maybe I will just give up in this stupid rat race or something because I feel as IM in last place and all the effort I put in is pointless.... This is true for almost every aspect of my life.... Who cares anyways, well I do but IM going to "try" to be hard about it and not show anything to anyone because that how it should be, hell I have no worries and if I do you shouldn't know about it unless you really know me, or read this blogg.... Still I have a lot of problems besides the stupid "rat race" of life to do... If a certain person shows effort then hey, no problem, but if not... W/e I will be ok... I don't get it at times but its just all fucked up in the end for me because I care, IM too nice, and I should be more of an asshole but w/e.... Fuck it im going to bed and wake up 2marrow, Clean my car, take care of some things and then who knows...
LILMAN X (NO HUGS, IM PISSED)
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