Old timer thoughts... End of an era

Well today was a rather busy day, but also not that bad... but i had my thoughts... Today for some reason i was thinking back to how things used to be like a year ago, or 2 or 3 years ago, and soo much has changed... I am always a person who hates change... If its going good it should stay that way i think... Ive also met a lot of people in that time but i have also lost some people in my life and disconnected with others too... Why do things have to change? Why can't they stay the same and good as always and just keep it like that with out bad things happen... Its funny, its the little things you just don't notice change and then when you think, oh I'm going to, then your like wait, i can't its changed, or they aren't around anymore... Sad i guess is the way i feel, i mean this year was harsh, lots of changes and things that have happened that i guess i just didn't get to slow down until one day i look and notice the change... Some things are stupid but they mean a lot to me... Example, MCH was my home away from home, now its been almost 2 years or more since i was there last, its changed soo much... Some people are still their but a lot have gone or just changed around... Even the old hall ways which whisper so many memory's don't feel the same... Its like i could stand in one spot, and close my eyes real tight and remember something that happened their, at a moment some time past... I feel old for some stupid reason even if i still am young... Also i don't have a crew anymore like i used to, i see me always telling the same old story over and over like i am living in the past... Fine i mean i live for now but it looks like story's in the past were better than how things are now days, or at least lately... Nothing is as fun as it used to be, Some times i push myself and tell myself " dammit you can still do it " but sometimes i can't... I try to push myself like i used to but time seems like its catching up to me or something... Some things i try to do but i just can't anymore, why??? I guess its like i am still living my old glory days because Ive noticed i am always telling the same old stupid story's... My head is not as clear as it used to be also, its all foggy and just not the same free caring anything go's, i am going to do it because i can push my self and make it attitude... Its i guess an end of an era for me i guess, Hell i mean its getting to that point i think... Next week will be the final time i use the Pookie head outfit... The morgue is closing and then after that, what's the point, no more place to rave... After that i retire my pookie head image and wrap it in plastic until one day i may be able to take it out of retirement i guess... An end of an era...

LILMAN X