Much to think about and back to school..>_<

Well its Monday and IM once agein in school and this sucks... My classes are boring and point less... I hate theese classes because its about secturity... Big deal I do this all the time when I set up a PC... I always lock my pcs down tight but w/e... Oh yeah I saw Sofia and " my replacement" the dude who took my position when I got sick and had to leave.... Hes ok but w/e I think I did more but w/e... I want to ask for my job back because I could use the $$ so I can keep my assets level and not have to work double to replace for my investments but w/e I guess I will have to do the same thing I always do... So yeah same shit different day.... Well so a lot of stuff has been going on... Mostly my time has been spending time with someone... This "someone" who will remain nameless, is the most wonderful person that I have met in a long long time... They are truly genuine... Its incredible there are still people on this earth that still think like that... Most people I have found to be materialistic or more interested in superficial things... Ok so I don't make this super confusing lets give this some one a temporary name: hottie, obviously its a girl for most of you that know I talk a lot about my girl problem here but w/e I know this person might read this but I have nothing to hide... Well hottie is awesome... She is almost perfect but there are a few things that bother me about her... I wont say what but if she reads this maybe she can figure it out(CLASS IS ENDING CONTINUE WHEN I GET HOME 11:50).... Ok well IM home now.. So I will continue... I am and have always been the hopeless romantic... Its just my nature, I don't know if its I love to love, or I want to just have a special some one, but w/e I think hottie is the mose beautiful person I have met in a long long time, not only physically is she beautiful but also spiritually and personality wise. She's just the most cheerful, happy, positive, sweet, honest,loving, big hearted girl that just looks for the right things in people and never judges people by looks or by anything that other people from this walk of life assume... I really hope and pray that life is good to her because there are such evil and cold people it this world that love to look for the innocent and big hearted people and ruin there mentality so that it changes there way of being... I know, because I used to be a lot like her... I know I have a lot of anger and IM like aggressive because I feel the need to defend myself because first my size and second because I was hurt real bad a few times before because of a person that was cold and it changed my mentality a lot... I was very loving and never saw anything wrong with anyone then after my experience I did become more aggressive, but when IM with hottie; I want to still be my spiffy self but I don't feel the need to because I can feel the good from her and I am more calm. I really do like her. Love>? Love is a strong word and I don't like to use it much because I used to use it a lot but yes I do have intentions to love her but I don't wanna say it... I know I am attached to her and I tried and tried to not be but, my "hard shell" that I developed from being Screwd over has broken and I personally thought it would take along time for me to find some one I care about which is kind of true because it has been3 yrs but I think I am starting to care once agein... I know She cares about me and I know she is attached but she has her doubts or just is not ready to ecknolege it but I wish she wouldn't fight that feeling... Maybe she will come around eventually one day... Soon or a wile from now... Will I be hurt from her not coming around now? No not really yeah I will feel something but I am a strong person, I have dealt with worse, but I have a good feeling about her... Only time will tell... I just hope she wont ignore me or distance her self from me because... 1 she's read this and it scared her... 2 she hates me because I am trying to make her realise she cares and to stop fighting her self on that issue.. I know what it is to be free and to want to date around but when a match is good and you know that person is genuine you should Listen To Your Heart..

LILMAN X