I have stuggled with this feeling for months,weeks, days, mins and sec. I cant figure it out why i love her so so so much i wish i didnt for the fact that its killing me deep inside and i so want to make a move but i cant because i am not one to froce things apon a person. I have to let her sort out her thoughts and emotions out untill then i cant do anything. I have one wish in life and that would be to have her to hold. I would not waste it on cure for myself. That would solve nothing i have dealt with what i have for 19yrs and i have dealt with this grate pain of love for 2months and i prefer her over my cure. Tonight i looked at her and thougt to my self. God to have such buity, To love such a person, To feel this person next to them is just the closet to heven i will ever be and feel. I wish she would know this, i see her in such a light that i rather go blind than never to have sight. I rather bleed and die, Then to never see her agean. I rather her be happy and i die all alone in this world than see her sufer. I love her i am convinced, there is nothing to compare, there is nothing else to say than i love her. If she only knew. She did something that no other person in this world has done, she made me happy when i was in my "mad at you mood." No one ever in 19 yrs has been able to do that, not terrell not brian not my mother or father, no one. I could not explane how she did it but she did, she had done and acomplishd so much that no other person in my life has been able to do. I just cant explane it. I see it in her eyes that she cares but untill she seddles her problems nothing will be done nothing will move all is frozen. I will pry tonight for her to open her eyes and make the right choice even if its not me, i dont care. As long as shes happy and i may have deep pain, i will be happy knowing shes happy. Today was the ball, i was filled with this happyness that i havent felt befor just seeing her wonderful self and the way she looked tonight just took all sence from me i could not help my self to just fall deeper in to this pit of loveing her more and more. She looks so amazing that i could not take my eyes from her and keep complamenting her. I felt like if it was the first time i met her but a better feeling because i know her more now. I just had the best night of my life with her, even if she didnt pay attention to me because her sisters where with her and she needed to do stuff with them i under-stud and just waited till she came to me. I will never forget this night and one day i will show her exactly how i feel for her. I will love no other like her I will never find one like her, im not a jelouse person im not demanding, but i do ask just a lil help and loveing from time to time.
LIL MAN X
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