Well its that time of the year, When I bring out my Larry coker Scrubs out and put them on under my jeans wile the canes play... Woot we are going to win you'll see... Today is the game V.S F.S.U and we will win, IM confident in the canes, Miami can do it! Well I Still have this cold I guess you can call it, and it has me a bit run down but IM doing just fine I think... Some other "people" noticed I was not feeling good but I know they care about me and that's why they tell me... Oh my complicated life I live... Too many things I want to do in one day and so many accomplishments I want to get done but I just don't have the time or energy any more to do them... I didn't sleep well at all last night... Thinking about stuff that worries me and stuff that I have to get done the next day and tasks I have to do... So many things, yet I would only ask for 5 main accomplishments 2 priority first and the others can be done. Its just not easy being me, I guess its my own fault I complicate my self... I think I deserve a good kick in the ass some times for setting such stupid goals and accomplishments I know are almost impossible but, I guess that's the war I fight everyday with my self and with my mind... Thinkers are not easy people... We have it easy from another person's view but we like to over think and perfect things until they are done right or done perfect... w/e enough about that... I know I haven't been feeling well and that's one of my many worries... I don't want to go down hill once more... I CANT, I think I will just lose it because everything is going almost perfect... IM going to school, hanging out with people, Chilling with Gaby... I don't want to go back to club hell, I don't wanna end up back on leave of absence and get away from my studies, I don't wanna miss out on going out with people, and who would want a loser stuck in club hell, I also wouldn't be able to get in shape... Damm this body of mine, why the fuk is it just being an asshole to me... I mean I do everything I can except for sleep and when I do it still screws me... I don't get it, IM taking medication, eating right, doing everything so wtf.... The worst part is I know it and I feel it but IM fighting it as much as I can, I know when people start telling me IM not looking good its gotten me because I can hide it super well and usually I win but IM just winning this round I think.. Maybe I still can win but ayyy... What a battle... Last night was fun, Gaby is always a pleasure to hang out with... She always makes my days better no matter how shibby I feel or w/e its like me + me... LOL... She's so beautiful and funny, and super smart... Her best quality is she is always honest and open with me, yeah she tells me the truth when IM being stupid, you all know I do this a lot... I like to put on a dammit face or a ok w/e face and I know it bothers the hell out of her but I love that reaction... Weird thing is we don't argue, at all now that I think of it... I don't know if that's healthy or a good thing...? Moments I have with her, I wish I could take a black magical pouch and take that moment in time and convert it into a Gem; that I could put inside the magical pouch and save it. So I can take it out later and look at the gem once more... I actually wrote a poem about it... Share it you say? Maybe, you all know I write poems but I haven't been inspired in a long long time to write one, maybe 3 yrs or so since I have actually wrote one... I hope she enjoys her self also, she's not to verbal, I guess I am more than her... Well enough about Gaby... Im sure Who ever is reading this is like what a loser... Eh bite me if you think that... Well the game is going to start soon so I am going to do something... What I have no clue... BUT DAMMIT IM GOING OUT!!! (i doubt it)
LILMAN X
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